Of Superstitions and Pregnancy

I had written the following piece during my pregnancy, but never got around to publish it, until now. It is not so much a piece of blog, as it is a journal entry.

~ Maanvi

31/01/2018

Today is a happy day for me: the weather is good, I feel no sickness or tiredness, and most importantly, I am deliberately trying to keep myself in a happy mood. But it was not easy to achieve. Today there is going to be a lunar eclipse and I have been asked by my family to follow some rules and restrictions that are believed to be done during pregnancy. It has had me upset for the past couple of days, but today I am decidedly happy and don't want to be bothered by the eclipse.

Belief is a very big phenomenon. I feel that its worth is underappreciated, in spite of so many believers in God everywhere. They say faith can move mountains; and I truly believe in it. What makes me believe? For that matter, what makes anyone believe in anything? As per my understanding there are two reasons for believing, and you could be following either or both of them. The first is that you may have been asked to believe in something, and you trust the source (i.e., the one who told you to believe). Often religious beliefs are handed down from one generation to another in this way. The other reason of belief is reason itself; i.e., you have a reason to believe something to be true. You may have witnessed it first-hand or heard stories about it, but either way, once the belief establishes, it takes a lot of efforts to shake that belief. Unfortunately, it is the same with superstitious beliefs too.

Coming to what upset me about the whole lunar-eclipse-lunacy. I remember when I first came to know about eclipses was in school, perhaps in 6^th or 7^th class. I can clearly recall that we were let off early from school one day because of a solar eclipse. We had learnt at school that a solar eclipse is harmful to watch with naked eyes so we shouldn’t look at it directly. When I came home, Papa affirmed this information and thereafter we covered all windows and doors with curtains, and waited for the eclipse to be over. I didn’t remember much else about that day until recently, when my memory was jogged because of an upcoming lunar eclipse and I was given some instructions. According to these beliefs, a pregnant woman is not supposed to venture outside during an eclipse, or even keep the curtains open, or touch any sharp objects like knives, scissors, needles, etc., or eat or drink anything during the time of the eclipse, or touch her pregnant belly, and especially not relieve her itch anywhere on the body, or move around the house, or do any household jobs. All this, and more, needs to be done, or rather abstained from being done, lest some harm befalls the baby. The repercussions range from physical deformity or unpleasant looking marks and scars, to mental incapacities. Since the time I was told these things I have agonized over it trying to look for reasonable and logical explanation behind these instructions. I haven’t found any reason for these beliefs, so I have concluded that they are merely superstitious. The interesting thing about superstitions is that they grow stronger as you keep on endorsing them, passing from one person to another, then from one generation to another, often even gathering additions at each stage, and their ‘veracity’ keeps growing. Go figure!

In my quest to find an acceptable justification for following these instructions, I randomly selected several women to ask them if they faced any eclipses while they were pregnant, and if they did or didn’t do any such adherences. In my pursuit I also prodded them for reasons that they might be aware of, for why such things are believed in. I searched the internet also thoroughly. I just didn’t want to give up easily. Somewhere my mind kept wondering if there might be some logic behind these beliefs. Sadly, everywhere I found only disappointment, because I couldn’t find anywhere the reason for such strict and rather cruel practices. I was told that if I felt like urinating during the period of the eclipse, I had to hold it. Now, that’s cruel for a pregnant woman! I find it just criminal to expect an infant or a small child or a pregnant woman or an elderly person, to remain without food and water for a long duration of time. I, for one, develop acidity and fatigue if I stay empty-stomach for too long. So, am I wrong in questioning these beliefs? I’m not claiming that these beliefs are wrong, but all I ask for is a reasonable explanation to understand why must we follow it? The “why” is all I seek.

Anyhow, the best answers I could get were all referring to some XYZ’s child being born with a physical deformity, or a mental incapacity, and that the mother had done one of the forbidden actions when the child was in the womb. I have two issues with this explanation:

1. There is no way to verify the connection between the act and the alleged consequence. Is it sufficient to believe in something merely based on an assumption? Believing that my action during this eclipse would affect my child, has to come from a reason. That reason may either be a dictate from a holy source or a scientific explanation for what happens during an eclipse. Merely relating two things as cause-and-effect is just a biased opinion; it hardly qualifies as a reason.
2. Is it the mother’s accountability alone, what a child is born as? I completely understand and accept that everything the mother eats and drinks, or how she takes care of herself, eventually affects the baby. It is actually amazing, but believable, that even what I am feeling does reach my baby! But should I really blame myself if my baby suffers due to some unknown reason? I mean would a mother deliberately and knowingly wish to bring harm upon her child? NO! The holy hymns and chants that I listen to every day, I do so for relaxing myself and also relaxing the little baby growing inside me. Now, whether that would have a good or bad effect on the baby, or no effect at all, is not only unpredictable but also beyond my control. So, in my opinion, it is unfair for others to think that a mother is at fault for the way the child turns out. If that were true, then everything that a person achieves in their lifetime should only be credited to the mother.

To sum up, what I am saying is that I believe in the goodness of God, and have faith in Sumeet and my practices as would-be parents. I definitely don’t want silly superstitions to be an overriding factor in my life, nor would I be forced to become a fearful parent, or worse, make a fearful child.